Good Ole Charlie

Charlie bit me!

This video makes me wonder if we could teach Bunny to speak with a British accent. And then have another boy. And name him Charlie.

A Leg Possessed

This is funny, and yet... that poor dog!

Cutest - Puppy - Ever

(Sorry, Sass)

With Teeth

Guess who has teeth coming in?!

Yes, that's right, I said teeth. Both of my baby's bottom front teeth are coming in AT THE SAME TIME. He is not a happy camper, poor baby. Well, he still is, just a little more cranky than usual.

I would upload a picture but we can't get one; we barely get to see the teeth (just little white lines now). We end up practically doing gymnastics to get at the right angle to see them while he's laughing or talking. If we try to pull his lower lip down (gently, of course, calm down), he sticks his tongue out. And sometimes he just clamps his lips together, and forget it, people, a crowbar ain't prying those little lips apart!

Rock the Party

So my husband and I watched some of the Flight of the Conchords on HBO and then I got him the first season for Christmas and we watched it, and it is so funny. We've seen them somewhere else, too, where they were just performing on stage, but I can't remember what that was, probably a Comedy Central special or something. Anyway, here are a couple of clips from the HBO special. Enjoy!

Business Time (a little racy, not for kids)

Frodo, Don't Wear the Ring

2007 Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

Had a baby!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, & will you make more for next year?

I didn’t really make any, so I guess I kept them fine. This upcoming year I want to get in better shape, like most people.

3. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

A house.

4. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Bunny’s birth, of course!

5. Did you suffer illness or injury?

C-section – OUCH.

6. What do you wish you’d done more of / less of?

More learning photography & writing / Less worrying

7. What was your favorite TV program?

The Flight of the Conchords, Extras, Doctor Who, Project Runway, Top Chef, America’s Next Top Model, The Shot, Jon & Kate Plus 8. Wow, I really got into reality TV, didn’t I?

8. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I’m not a hater, though I do wish Paris Hilton didn’t exist. Does that count?

9. What was the best book you read?

Pregnancy/baby books.

10. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The Flight of the Conchords, which is admittedly more comedy than music.

11. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Personal fashion concept?

12. What kept you sane?

My baby! While simultaneously making me so exhausted I was hallucinating.

13. Who did you miss?

Friends that I never get to see anymore.

14. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed.

Finally, Pictures!

Okay, as promised, here are some pictures.

Visiting the Pumpkin Patch, getting ready for Halloween...

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On to...

Halloween!

Beginning of the evening...

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two minutes later...

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Sorry for the dots on this post; what can I say, Blogger STINKS. I had to finagle to get the spacing anywhere near right.

Happy Thanksgiving

...a little late. Ours was good, the food was yummy, but since we are all sick, not as yummy as usual. Poor little Baby Bunny can hardly breathe most of the time. It's really hard to not be able to do more to help him. He's been so good-natured anyway, way more so than I have!

At his checkup earlier this month, he had more than doubled his weight and grown 7 inches since he was born! The doctor said he is in the 90th percentile for both height and weight. His head is apparently small, though, in the 25th percentile. The doctor said not to worry about it, so I'm trying not to. He measured my head and said I'm in the 25th percentile, but I don't know if he really checked or if he was just trying to reassure me. Anyway, don't we have quite the little man?! He doesn't look fat, just has huge thighs and chubby cheeks.

Happy Halloween

It's been a while, so I'm just posting a sort of placeholder entry for now. I am hopefully going to be posting a new picture or two soon, so please keep checking! We are planning to upload pictures as soon as we can clear some things off our hard drive.

Baby Boy is great, absolutely amazing and perfect! He is almost 16 weeks old, holds his head up really well, reaches for things, can bring things to his mouth, is gnawing on everything, talks and smiles and LAUGHS OUT LOUD! It is the cutest thing imaginable. If I can figure out how to upload a little movie, you can see him laughing. We haven't been able to catch the best laughs, of course, but we've gotten some.

That's it for now, I'll post pictures or a video soon, I hope.

Wow, two months!

I'm posting a quick update because I know it's been a long time. I've been a little busy, you know!

He is wonderful, precious, adorable, beautiful, perfect... He's sleeping for longer periods at night now (3-5 hours, usually), is growing like a weed, and has discovered his hands. He smiles and laughs and recognizes me and Andrew. It's just amazing, he's amazing, and we're so lucky.

Thanks to everyone who has sent cards or gifts and/or come to visit, it means so much to us!

Voila!

Finally, the post you've all been waiting for! Andrew got pictures uploaded and I've gotten a chance to get on the computer for a minute. So here he is, in all his glory, our handsome and perfect boy:

Update

Alas, still no bambino! He apparently likes it in there. We're in week 39 now; his due date is July 15.

Here is a picture from about 3 weeks ago, so at about 36 weeks. I have some recent pictures where you can see my bare belly, but yuk! Not being Demi Moore, I'm not posting those.

You can see he has definitely grown. The doctors estimate his weight at about 7.5 pounds. I'm ready now for him to make his appearance -- it's really uncomfortable hauling around 7.5 pounds in your belly!

Serious Stuff

Those of you who know me know that I'm a big fan of Joss Whedon's -- mostly due to Buffy, Angel, Firefly, and Serenity (though he also worked on scripts for, among other things, Toy Story, Speed, and X-Men) -- and I just came across this article he wrote about a month ago. You should check it out: http://whedonesque.com/comments/13271

I'm It, Apparently

I've been tagged, so I have to post 7 little-known facts about myself. I'm supposed to tag other people but I don't know anyone with a blog, except the friend who tagged me. Get in the twenty-first century, people!

Here are my facts:

1. I hate crowds with a passion, and thus hate shopping at Wal-Mart. (Well, partly for that reason.) The whole experience is just such a hassle.

2. When in kindergarten, we were given dittoes of a flower and told to color it red for our mothers for Mother's Day. Not "color it," mind you; it had to be red. Being the creative rebel that I was, I decided to color it all variations of red, each petal a different color. So here was a carnation pink petal, there was a violet one. All within the red family. So basically following the rules, right? WRONG. The teacher snapped at me, snatched up the offending picture -- that I was coloring for MY mother, remember -- crumpled it up and THREW IT AWAY. Then she gave me another one and told me to COLOR IT RED. With much seething resentment, I did.

3. I've never gone to Spring Break in Florida. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

4. Within seconds of walking outside, I have multiple insect bites. It's like I have an All-You-Can-Suck Buffet sign over my head that only insects can see. Or maybe I just smell that good.

5. I'm so pale that my own father once asked me why I'm so white. I said, Duh, YOUR GENES.

6. When I was little I had a sneaking suspicion that dolls and stuffed animals were alive on some level. Not really alive like I was, but that they had feelings. As a consequence, I was usually very kind to my toys. I think they appreciated it.

7. I once got angry and ran away from home. I only got next door before I thought better of it. After all, the chocolate milk was back there.

Completely Buggy

There don't seem to be any instructions for this game but you'll figure it out and then you won't be able to stop playing.

http://www.donpixel.com/play/en/060413201807/

The Great White Whale!

Finally, here are a couple of pictures of me since my belly has inflated.

April 2007

About 26 weeks along

(that's 6 1/2 months -- out of 10 -- for those of you who haven't been through this)

May 2007

My first Mother's Day

31 weeks along (almost 8 months)

My Big Secret

...and getting bigger all the time.

Yes, we're expecting! I've been waiting to post about it because I want to add pictures but that may or may not happen before the baby actually arrives, so here's the big news...

We are 30.5 weeks along, we are having a boy, everything is on track so far, and we haven't decided on a name yet.

Oh yeah, and we're still looking for a house or land on which to build.

I need some stress in my life. Any ideas?

2006 Year in Review

Here's a 2006 review that I never got around to posting. I shortened it, so I'm hoping it won't bore the pants off you. Or any other article of clothing, really. (Why is it always pants?)

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
Hmm… I can’t really think of anything. (And we're off to an exciting start!)

2. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
A baby.

3. What 2006 dates will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Let’s see… I’m no good at dates. I remember we adopted our Boston Terrier, Molly, in February.

4. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Learning photography; writing.

5. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying.

6. What was your favorite TV program?
I like The Office and my husband has gotten me hooked on some sci-fi shows, so I like those… Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica. I keep trying to like Gilmore Girls, but it’s just not very good anymore. My guilty pleasure is America’s Next Top Model, though I wish they’d show much less of the stupidity and much more photography.

7. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, I hated Paris Hilton last year, too.

8. What was the best book you read?
I read so many, I’ll have to think about this. I should probably keep a list.

9. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That I’m really not following music at all anymore, and I miss it.

10. What kept you sane?
Sassy and Molly.

11. Who did you miss?
Friends that I never get to see anymore.

12. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed. (This applies even more to 2007 so far.)

Me, Me, Me!

According to a CIA personality quiz I took today, I am an "Impressive Mastermind." I wonder if I'll get a call soon?

I also took a Meyers-Briggs test online for about the millionth time in my life and was scored as an INTJ.

Your Type is INTJ

Introverted (56%)

Intuitive (50%)

Thinking (25%)

Judging (20%)

This apparently means that I am moderately introverted, intuitive, and thinking, but only slightly judging. I don't know why they considered the 25% for thinking as moderate instead of slight, but they did.

The INTJ type described by Kiersey states that I am a Rational Mastermind. I'm enjoying this theme! If only I could get the people around me to do what I want. Doesn't that seem like the kind of thing a Mastermind should be able to do? I guess I'm not very good at it. Yet.

Some famous INTJs:

~Real~

Augustus Caesar (Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus)

Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

Hannibal, Carthaginian military leader

C. S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)

General Colin Powell

Thomas Jefferson

~Fictional~

Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

Gandalf the Grey (Tolkein's Middle Earth books)

Wow. I just went from being completely proud to be in such company to complete despair. What happened to me??

Here She Is, Miss... Something

Finally, here are pictures of Penny. I took the first one not too long after we got her; as far as we know, she's a chihuahua/miniature pinscher mix, though she sometimes looks like she has some pharaoh hound mixed in. She's very small and quick, a little hyper, surprisingly tough, and equal parts frustrating and adorable. The green in her ear is from a tattoo they gave her at the Humane Society. For scale, I'm posting pictures of her with Sassy and Molly. Please excuse the alien eyes in one and the blurriness of the other.

Finger Lickin' Good

Have you heard about the rats in the KFC/Taco Bell in Greenwich Village? Go check it out:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=su0U37w2tws

I think the rats look awfully clean and healthy for city rats, but then I'm a small-town girl, what do I know? I just know I always pictured them bigger and sort of greasy and snarling all the time, and these look pretty cute. For rats. In a restaurant. Urk.

Gone to the Dogs

It's been a while, I know. Things have been a little hectic lately. We added to our household recently, because I am either stupid or crazy. Or maybe a little of both. Before you get too excited, it's another dog I'm talking about. Yes, a THIRD dog. Everyone rolls their eyes when they hear that, and I understand, I do too whenever I'm in a buyer's remorse phase. But she's so cute!

My dear husband has been very patient about it. He's almost as soft-hearted as I am, so that sometimes spells disaster or at least Extremely Frustrating Situation, as it did this time.

We've named her Penny because her toenails are copper-colored, which I think is supercool. And she's no bigger than a penny. And she keeps turning up around the house like a bad penny. No kidding, you think she's gone in one direction and suddenly there she is coming from a completely different one! It's a little spooky.

She's coming along with the house-training, though she still has accidents. Our biggest problem so far is keeping her off our bed. She is really determined to be up there. Nothing we've tried is really working, though we have yet to try spraying her in the face with water. It didn't work on Sassy, though, so I'm not holding out much hope it will work with little Miss I'm-All-That. We may have to call Cesar Millan and see if he can whisper her into shape.

I'll post a picture as soon as I can.

Too Much Information?

Single or taken → Taken
Favorite color → Midnight Blue
Sneakers or Flip-flops → Crocs -- they’re comfortable, dammit!
Are you a health freak → Uh, no; wish I were
Do you like yourself → Most of the time

FIRST...
Surgery → Wisdom teeth removal
Best friend → Van Dine!
Award → I think I won an honorable mention in a junior high science fair
Sport you joined → I didn’t really do team sports; I took dancing
Pet → We always had at least one dog; first I really remember are Coco & Taffy
Vacation → That I remember, either Colorado or Disney World (not sure which came first)
Concert → Probably Louisiana LeRoux because I remember a parent chaperoning us (All right, settle down, you remember the song New Orleans Ladies, don’t you? There you go, that’s Louisiana LeRoux)
Love → Alan in 5th grade; he wasn’t worthy. Oh, also Captain Kirk. Totally worthy.

HAVE YOU EVER...
Run away from home → Yes, but I only got to the yard next door
Been arrested → Nope
Turned someone down → Yes
Cried when someone died → Well, of course, I’m not a robot. I cried when a character died on a show last night, as a matter of fact. Of course, the actor also died young a few years after that episode was filmed, so that made it extra poignant.

New Year, New Shampoo

I know it's been a while, but hey! I was busy. Mostly eating, but that's the holidays, right? Anyway, I'm back now though I don't have anything exciting to say. Wait -- of course I do, keep reading!

I've been pondering something that looms rather large in my life, and that is shampoo. Since when did shampoo cease to be something to clean your hair and become some wonderliquid that repairs Nature's blunders, along with any damage you've done to it yourself? Do we need shampoos geared toward every different hair type the industry has defined? Are the formulas really that different? Do we really need Pro-Vitamin B5 in our shampoo?

I miss the good old days, when shampoo was just meant to clean your hair and, incidentally, leave it smelling fresh and clean and sometimes terrific. All the fancy stuff was done with the conditioner. And we liked it that way.

I can't tell you how excited I was to find this not long ago:

Prell, baby! ORIGINAL. The hard stuff. It cleans the dickens out of my hair and doesn't leave any weird stuff behind. Love it!






So, um, I guess that's it. Happy 2007! Do your hair a favor and go buy some Prell. You'll thank me later.

Tragedy in Snow

Click image to enlarge.

Christmas Quiz

You Are a Snowman

Friendly and fun, you enjoy bringing holiday cheer to everyone you know!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

Bein' Green

What Color is Your Brain?

GREEN:

At work or in school: I work best by myself. I like to focus on my ideas until my desire for understanding is satisfied. I am easily bored if the subject holds no interest to me. Sometimes, it is hard for me to set priorities because so many things are of interest.
With friends: I may seem reserved. Although my thoughts and feelings run deep, I am uneasy with frequent displays of emotion. I enjoy people who are interesting and of high integrity.
With family: I am probably seen as a loner because I like a lot of private time to think. Sometimes, I find family activities boring and have difficulty following family rules that don't make sense to me. I show love by spending time with my family and sharing ideas and interests.

Take this quiz!




Quizilla

Ever Wondered About Charlie Brown's Skeleton?

Or Shmoo's? Or Marvin the Martian's?

Check it out:

Skeletal Systems

Bizarre in an awesome sort of way. Or awesome in a bizarre sort of way, if you prefer.

Bipolar Express

We watched the movie Polar Express last night, and I confess I spent most of it going, “Wha?” I did not enjoy it, and I’m a big fan of kids’ movies -- when they’re well-done. Granted, I did not read the book, mostly because the illustrations didn’t appeal to me; I’m guessing that reading it would have at least cleared up some of my confusion, because confusion there was.

To begin with, this strange conductor shows up in the middle of night and carts kids away, supposedly going to the North Pole. Okay. It’s a kids’ movie, I’ll stifle my adult urge to scream, “Don’t go with the pedophile, kid!” and go along with it.

After picking up the main character, the "hero" (who is not heroic or even particularly interesting), they pick up some little poor kid who has to sit in the back train car by himself. What is up with that?! He has to sit alone, in a train car that is precariously attached to the rest of the train, where it looks cold and dark, and doesn't even get offered refreshments? I suppose that was a gimmick to show the heroic qualities of the two hero characters, but it just seemed excessively cruel to me. And did I mention gimmicky?

Then there was the ongoing (and ongoing and ongoing) frustration with the ticket, the incredibly dangerous train ride, and the surprisingly inept crew. I mean, wouldn't you think Santa would have the best? The conductor seemed bipolar, the engineer was clumsy and slow, and the guy helping the engineer (not sure what his function was) was like a character out of Dogpatch.

The staff who brought the hot chocolate seemed magical, pouring scalding hot chocolate into cups from yards away while they twirled and sang à la Disney. But then the train ride itself was one ridiculous and dangerous mishap after another. Where was the magic then? I guess the kitchen staff got it all.

Then there was this mysterious hobo character who was there, but then not there, saving other characters now and then. I found him strange and off-putting. He was clearly a gimmick (again), put there just to save characters when they needed it, but why? It seems like any other kind of character could have worked just as well, if not better. This character was mysterious to the point of eeriness. Maybe it was intended as a Homeless-Person-As-Hero Don't-Judge-A-Book-By-Its-Cover sort of lesson? I suspect this is one instance in which the book could help me out.

When they finally got to the North Pole, our protagonists of course managed to get lost because they were DOING THE RIGHT THING (in a very clumsy way), but then of course ended up, despite themselves, where they were supposed to be anyway. Again, Santa's whole operation seemed to be inefficient and bumbling, though one near tragic mishap was -- again, of course -- stopped at the last minute and the conductor said something about the whole operation being a "well-oiled machine." A well-oiled near death trap, you mean.

Then Santa finally came out after much Jonestown-like singing and chanting by thousands of elves all dressed alike, making them disturbingly uniform from a distance, like an army of Christmas Orcs. The elves they showed up close were out-and-out creepy-looking. One might even go so far as to say evil-looking. One of the elves spoke to the poor boy, saying "Trust me" in this sinister serial-killer way, sort of winking like he's a good-natured pirate who really can't be trusted but is charming so you give in anyway. But the elf was supposedly actually trustworthy. So, Mr. Zemeckis, why make him seem sinister and shifty?

Santa was dull and not really on-screen for long and made a big point of saying how he was a symbol of Christmas. Not heavy-handed at all, no. And of course he chose Our Hero for the First Gift of Christmas, though the "hero" hadn’t earned it in any way I could see. Oh, wait, he believed. With all of the proof right in front of him, he took the brave step of believing. Yes, I get it now.

I realize this movie is intended for children and most may have loved it, but I thought it was contrived, ran much too long, suffered from logic gaps that bright children will spot easily, was mostly boring though interspersed with somewhat violent parts that I think would scare young children, and overall, was just downright unsettling.

If There's One Thing I Can Do...

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

Underpants Gnomes Strike Again!

Apparently it’s all the rage these days in Hollywood for young starlets, pop tarts, and heiress wastes of space to go about all panty-less. Maybe it’s the warm weather in California: naughty bits need a little fresh air now and then. No?

It’s not a new idea; we all know Marilyn Monroe didn't wear underwear. Yet La Marilyn didn’t stagger around drunk in micro-minis, struggling to get in and out of limos and yachts and whatnot, either oblivious to flashing everyone or pretending to be oblivious while secretly hoping everyone noticed. I’m sure that many people back in the day didn’t consider Marilyn to be the epitome of class, but look, Ma -- by comparison she seems like such a lady, doesn’t she?

I don’t really see what the appeal is for these young women. Do they think it makes them seem more daring? Devil-may-care? Saucy? Sexy? I think it just seems desperate. Desperate to be considered sexy, desperate to be in the limelight, desperate to have their pictures splashed all over the world, even for this. Do they not care about class, dignity, respect? Okay, okay, that's going too far, I guess, expecting too much.

But does Britney really have to do this to feel sexy? Maybe after having two babies and being married to the bowl of Jello -- tough Jello, though, yo, like green, maybe -- she does. But she was famous for being sexy before all that, more even than for being a singer. She could easily have gotten that back and it looked like she was on her way until she hooked up with the heiress oxygen-suck and broke her own previous record for the downhill run. Not that she’s ever been anything other than trash. We all know money can’t buy love; it doesn’t seem to be able to put a dent in poor taste or a complete lack of class, either.

Though I’m the first to admit that it is indeed bold to go panty-less, staggering around drunkenly flashing your lady parts at whoever might be looking your way is a little too close to the world’s oldest profession for me. And we all know how much respect they get.

Another Reason to Love December

Not that I didn't enjoy NaBloPoMo or think it was a good idea. It was just the pressure.

The same sort of pressure keeps me from subscribing to magazines: the fact that I have to read this, at least some of it, every month, or God forbid, every week, or I've completely WASTED MY MONEY. Ugh. I can't take it. (Except for Consumer Reports. That one I love.)

I don't like feeling obligated. I can't tell you how much I resent flossing; if I didn't have to do it, I wouldn't mind. But oh, since I have to...

I realize it's a weird way of thinking but I've learned to accept it. Just please don't subscribe me to any magazines.

Insanity Explained

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm You're probably in the final stages of a Ph.D. or otherwise finding a way to make your living out of reading. You are one of the literati. Other people's grammatical mistakes make you insane.
Dedicated Reader
Book Snob
Literate Good Citizen
Non-Reader
Fad Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

The Most Expensive Time of the Year

For my last post as part of NaBloPoMo, which I realize I failed miserably, I'm just going to throw some fun links atcha. Heads up!

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com
(funny AND they sell stuff)

http://www.missdoxie.com/
(if you don't want to read the post, scroll down to where she starts the gift idea list)

http://www.ohmythatsawesome.com/
(various neat gifties)

http://www.rarebirdfinds.typepad.com/
(again, vng)

http://www.beccalights.com/
(yummy candles)

http://www.hellagoodproducts.com/
(yummy bath products)

By the Thundering Horse of Jove...

You Are a Pegasus

You are a perfectionist, with an eye for beauty. You know how to live a good life - and you rarely deviate from your good taste. While you aren't outgoing, you have excellent social skills. People both admire you - and feel very comfortable around you.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love this time of year. Partly because Christmas is my favorite holiday, partly because the weather is FINALLY cooling off, and partly because, hello, gifts! Giving and getting. Also people seem friendlier this time of year. Or they used to. I think the whole world is grumpier than it used to be, me included.

Anyway, I've got the Christmas music cranked and wanted to take a minute to wish everyone a wonderful holiday season!

TomGag

I wish everyone would stop talking about Tom Cruise. I don't care about his wedding to Katie, I don't care about how powerful he is or what a superstar he is. I'm really tired of people claiming to speak for all women and how we just love Tom Cruise. I don't. I never have. I didn't like him in Risky Business, when all my teenage friends were crazy about him (yes, I'm dating myself), I didn't like him in Top Gun (same character he played in RB, and he had as much chemistry with Kelly McGillis as he would have had with, oh, I don't know, his sister maybe?), and I hated the whole Jerry Maguire masterpiece of mediocrity. Except for the little boy, he was cute.

Has no one else noticed that Tom plays the same basic character in every movie? Everyone was going on and on about his daring role reversal in Collateral, but it was exactly the same, he was just a bad guy instead of a good one. Let's see him take on Shakespeare or Jane Austen convincingly. Then I might be impressed.

And I don't want to hear him talk about anything anymore. I think he's ignorant and insipid. Perhaps no more than most high school dropouts; perhaps no more than most celebrities. But I don't want to listen to them, either.

True or False

Until recently, I had been reading only non-fiction books, and while I enjoyed them, I wasn’t completely satisfied. I felt gratified, more knowledgeable, and sometimes alarmed or outraged, but not satisfied. It’s like dessert -- I can enjoy a dessert that’s not chocolate, but it just isn’t really dessert. It’s not fully rewarding. It doesn’t make the soul sing.

Now I am back to reading fiction and it is like sinking into a nice, warm, fragrant bath. Or slipping on a pair of perfect shoes. Or meeting a new friend that you feel immediately comfortable with, almost as if you’ve known them before. Aaaah, is what I’m saying.

Mea Culpa

This has been bothering me and I'd just like to say that I wanted my blog url to be littlegraycells but it was taken (by someone who hasn't updated since February of 2005! Grrrr). Since I love Poirot and have the last name Gray, I didn't want to give it up, so I made it littlegraycellz. Normally, I don't like to misspell things and I don't like the downward (dumbward?) slide our language is in, but I made an exception. I suppose I should have been more creative instead, but now it's too late.

I feel a little better.

Good Wife. Now Sit!

(Click image to see larger version.) (Please ignore the marks; they are not mine.) This may be a fabrication; its status on Snopes.com is Undetermined. Still, amusing, in a teeth-gnashing kind of way.

The Joy of Plumbing

Well, we have the plumbers here for the third time in as many months (right? close, anyway) to fix the same problem: our bathtub won't drain.

It goes in a predictable procession: flushing the toilet causes the tub drain to gurgle; we say uh-oh; tub starts retaining fluid; it eventually drains; tub retains with a vengeance; doesn't drain at all; toilet will no longer flush. It's fun!

They're now telling us that they may have to replace the pipes from the bathroom to the street, or wherever it goes. And that might take a couple of days. No bathroom for a couple of days? No problem! Luckily we live in the same town as my parents, so we can stay with them if need be. I just hope that if they have to do that, it doesn't take any longer than a couple of days. And that it really fixes the problem. Which they say is tree roots. Thanks, trees! What'd we ever do to you?

Here are Sassy & Molly, waiting for the intruders to leave:













You can see that they aren't too thrilled with their prison. And who can blame them? Here's what they're used to:













Update: They fixed the problem, again citing tree roots (damn you, trees!), but claiming that they shouldn't cause a problem again for six months. Ha! We'll see about that. It's us against the roots now. This means war.

Now please excuse me, I have to go light some candles to counteract eau de plumber...

Can You Say OW?

That was my first root canal. (I'm sure it won't be my last; thanks for the crappy teeth, Mom and Dad!)

As my little nephew would say, "It was kinda horrible."

Here are a few observations made while under the drill:

• I love whoever created Novocaine.
• X-ray squares HURT.
• When the dentist is cleaning out your tooth canals, it sounds like you’re chewing Silly Putty. (oh come on, you know you’ve done it)
• It's scary when the assistant holds out an implement to the doctor and he looks at it blankly and asks, “What is that?” And then he USES it.
• Root canals suck, but not as badly as letting your tooth go until you’ve got an abscess and it feels like your jaw has exploded when you eat ice cream.

Peace Out

Tomorrow I go in for a root canal, which I am equal parts dreading and eagerly anticipating. My tooth is starting to hurt again a little bit, so it will be good to get it over with. I don't know how I'll feel after it, so I may not post tomorrow. Alas, poor NaBloPoMo!

Attitude

For those of you who don't know, I work in a library and am stuck on the reference desk as my desk, my home away from home, even though I shouldn't be, but that's another story. I just have one question I'd like to pose: WHY CAN'T PEOPLE BATHE AND USE DEODORANT? It's not hard. Have a heart, people.

Now for something kind of related and not really surprising:

Your Attitude is Better than 35% of the Population

You have an average attitude. You take the good and bad in life as they come. Though sometimes you could use a little more good.

How's Your Attitude?

But I'm From Louisiana!

Your Linguistic Profile:

40% General American English

30% Dixie

10% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

There Once Was a Little Pea Brain...

Well, if I weren't out of the contest already, I am now, all due to my wee little brain. I had a feeling it would come to this, though I expected to make it further into the month. I wasn't at a computer yesterday so... I just forgot. Until Molly woke us up to go out at 1:30 a.m. THIS morning. Then I oh-so-helpfully remembered. Good job, brain!

Quirks

Does anyone else like House Hunters as much as I do? I suppose I like it so much because we are looking for a house ourselves. Although we don't have nearly the options that most of the people on HH have since we live in such a small town. We're lucky to have a few houses to consider every few months or so. I envy those people their choices.

Those of you who watch the show, tell me which episodes are older: Suzanne Whang with bangs, or Suzanne Whang without? I don't know why I feel compelled to know this, but I do.

My husband doesn't like the show as much as I do, but he loves how in some of them (older or newer episodes, I can't tell!) she introduces herself and then pauses, as if expecting applause. "Welcome to House Hunters. I'm Suzanne Whang." ~pause~ "Joe Schmoe is looking for a new place to live..."

That is funny, but not as funny as a girl on a Standard Deviants video we watched (my hubby is a teacher) who would say whatever she was scripted to, then flash this big beauty queen smile. Regardless of the tone of whatever it was she had just said. That struck me as really funny. Apparently, her Indian name is Desperately Hoping to Be Noticed by a Hollywood Bigwig and Become the Next Julia Roberts Like Sometime SOON So I Don't Have to Do These Lame Educational Videos EVER AGAIN.

I Should Study Science!

You Are An INTJ

The Scientist You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems. Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized. You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others. Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you. You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

What's Your Personality Type?

Okay, I am kind of an idea rat, I am constantly trying to improve things, and I like to be logical and organized. Skeptical, check. Critical, check. Stubborn, check. But a scientist? I don't think so. I don't have the concentration. I'm more like Frankenstein's monster than the good doctor. Alive, yes, but very confused.

Good Old American Dentistry

So I went to the dentist today. Wow, that was fun! He poked, prodded, drilled, and swabbed his little heart out. It hurt. Verily it hurt.

And I have to have a root canal next week. And my jaw hurts from the shot, and my tooth still hurts from all the drilling and prodding. But at least I can see light at the end of this particular tunnel of doom.

I can't believe I'm looking forward to a root canal.

Well, sort of.

Teeth Shmeeth

I don't know if you've ever had a toothache, or any kind of trouble with your teeth. If not, I hate you and want your teeth. If so, you know what it's like. You can feel my pain.

Because oh, yes, pain there is. It started Saturday night when I was innocently eating a little ice cream. All of a sudden, WHAM. It was like someone hit me in the jaw with a sledgehammer. (Well, okay, since that might actually kill me, I'll change it to a rubber mallet. Those things still hurt.) It was horrible. My whole head hurt. It finally subsided into a dull, throbbing, constant ache that has been with me since. With occasional flare-ups of intense head-shattering pain.

And of course the dentist can't work me in until tomorrow.

I have two crowns where this pain is originating and have been told I need root canals. I'm guessing they were right. And as much as I dread having a root canal, I want this pain over with even more. Just make it stop, that's all I ask. And make sure it never returns.

At this point, I'm willing to have these teeth pulled, if that's what it would take. Just call me Lurleen-Mae. At least I would be gloriously free of pain and able to eat whatever I wanted. Mostly.

I Am So Mad

Well, that's just great. I'm going to be out of the contest now, all because of BLOGGER. I posted yesterday, and at first had trouble getting Blogger to publish; finally it published and the post was there. I even checked my site twice and there was my little post, a few words of wisdom that I liked. So I come in to post today and guess what? Yesterday's post is GONE.

I would love to know how that happened, I would love Blogger to find it and republish it, AND I would love an apology from them for this.

You Can Call Me Scoot

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick.You're always willing to lend a helping hand.In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going."15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test

Wild Child

While recently reading about the Jersey Devil, I discovered a link to an article on feral children. Reading some of the entries mentioned in that article, I discovered further proof (as if I needed any) that animals really are better than people. (I make a vast, sweeping, and even gross generalization here, I know. I actually do know some very nice people, and a few kind of mean animals, so I recognize the flaw in my sentiment. But still. Overall.)

Here’s what blows me away: first of all, that parents abandon their own children -- okay, that’s shocking enough, but sadly, not as shocking as it should be these days; the really astounding part is that animals take them in -- something that isn’t even of their own species -- and raise them!

Do the animals stop to consider whether or not there will be enough milk to go around, or juicy berries, or yummy rabbits, or whatever? Apparently not.

So, at least in these cases, the animals definitely win the moral tug-of-war.

A previously unknown (to me) and intriguing detail mentioned in several of the cases wherein children were raised by wolves or wild dogs is that the children were found to have exceptional senses of sight, smell, and hearing. I can think of several reasons why this would be so, but it never occurred to me that it would be. I think that’s fascinating.

I guess that’s why I was a psych major in college.

Get Your Post On!

In a moment of reckless abandon, I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo, which is National Blog Posting Month, created by the fussy Mrs. Kennedy. This means I have to post every day for the month of November. Every day.

I did this not just because there are prizes involved -- mmm, prizes -- but also because I think it will be good practice for me to have to write every day. Of course, the biggest problem is going to be my memory. There's every chance that I'll forget, not just because of weekends, when I like to avoid the computer after working at one all week, but during Thanksgiving. A holiday! My memory ain't what it used to be, folks.

Anyway, here goes. Wish me luck, a good memory, and ideas for what to write!

Sweet Personality

Of course I'm a Reese's, what else?

Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

Very popular, one of you is not enough.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Billions of Dollars Later: "Mars Is Boring"

Mars Rover Beginning To Hate Mars

PASADENA, CA—After nearly three years of nonstop data collection, Spirit has begun transmitting obscene gestures and confusing rants.

A Short Skirt Is Not an Open Invitation

I just came across this and think it bears repeating. I believe that most people capable of committing rape aren't susceptible to rehabilitation, but there are some instances where "average" people seem to think it's okay. Read on, you'll see what I mean.

Only Rapists Can Prevent Rape

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Hell, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that bullshit, how about:

• If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
• If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
• If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
• If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
• If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
• If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
• If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
• If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
• If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
• If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
• If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
• If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
• If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
• If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
• If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
• If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
• If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
• If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
• If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
• Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
• Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
• Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
• Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
• Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
• Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

-author unknown

Slow Your Boat

I have always felt that I was born in the wrong time. I like to do most things at a leisurely pace, I hate crowds and traffic, I don't particularly like fast food, and I wish I could walk to the grocery store, to a diner or cafe, to visit friends, without it being dangerous, weird, or just plain impossible.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered there are other people who agree, who think things ought to be done -- and more importantly, can be done -- differently. Better. The trouble is, it still costs too much to do most of what I'd like to do. I fall into the heavily burdened middle class, who aren't rich enough to hire attorneys and accountants to hide the bulk of our money so we don't have to pay taxes on it, and who aren't poor enough to benefit from government and private aid. No one wants to help the middle class; we're the ones helping everyone else.

Anyway, that mini-rant over, I've read some interesting books lately that relate to this topic in one way or another.

In his book In Praise of Slowness, Canadian journalist Carl Honoré examines how fast-paced our world has become and what we've lost in the process: health, happiness, connectedness, contentment. For example, did you know that the average American spends seventy-two minutes of every day behind the wheel of a car? That Americans spend forty percent less time with their children than they did in the 1960s? But Honoré doesn't just present a gloomy picture, he goes on to discuss the solution: the worldwide "slow" movement. Depressing, fascinating, and ultimately encouraging, I highly recommend it.

I've also recently read Fast Food Nation, Don't Eat This Book, and Chew On This, which all examine the fast food industry and what it's done -- and is still doing -- to our health, from our expanding waistlines and heart problems to toxic conditions at the feedlots and "farms" where their meat comes from, and to our economy. There's nothing natural or healthy involved, from the food processing to the finished products to the franchise management to the manipulation of the consumers, particularly children.

It's chilling to realize that other countries are rioting and refusing to let these big companies get away with all of their questionable practices while Americans just keep shoveling it in. And while these companies are responding to pressures overseas, they don't necessarily make the same changes here. Because it would cost too much.

Never mind that they've already made more money than anyone should be allowed to who isn't giving more back. Besides heart attacks, diabetes, animal cruelty, and e. coli, that is.

You could try writing your congressman (or –woman) but odds are they won’t be able (or won’t want) to take on these companies’ powerful lobbies. They keep a lot of politicians in their pockets. It seems to me the big companies have got it all backwards: if they put that money toward cleaning up their practices and producing clean, healthy, tasty food, they wouldn’t need to pay the politicians to cover for them. Right?

I’m just happy there are people out there getting fed up with this stuff (lame pun not intended) and letting us know and really doing something about it. My little contribution for now is just passing it along. But I’m going to keep trying to do more.

Skidboot the Dog

Wow. What a great dog. (Warning -- this is a bit of a tearjerker.)

Poor Sass

Well, we ended up having to take Sass to an emergency vet clinic a few weeks ago when she was so sick. We drove about an hour and a half to get there and of course she seemed better once we arrived. But they ran tests and diagnosed pancreatitis. Which is potentially fatal. So he gave us some medicine, injected some water under her skin to hydrate her, and told us to feed her prescription food. And then we drove back, getting home around 2:30 a.m. We were all exhausted. Molly was thrilled that we were home.

Sass can't have any more people food, since that's apparently what made her sick, so we've been giving her the prescription food. She is NOT HAPPY. She eats her food now only when she's finally so hungry that she can't stand it. And she can go a while with no food, believe me.

I can't really blame her; here's what it looks like:















Poor Molly has to eat it, too. Otherwise Sass just goes over and eats her food. So they're both on a diet. They've lost weight, especially Molly, and they seem to feel much better. So it's worth it.

I can't believe we did this to her; we feel incredibly guilty. It was breaking my heart when she looked so forlorn and I didn't know what to do to help her. And that was before I knew we had done this to her! Now she doesn't get any people food at all, so she watches us with sad eyes while we're eating. It's hard because we can't explain to her why she can't have table scraps anymore, but there's nothing we can do about it. We're just thankful that she's feeling better.

Small Town Life, Too

Another example of what I love about small towns:

If a man's home can't be his castle, then why not his parking spot? If your car is feeling neglected, maybe you should redecorate its personal space.

Call Percy, the Pasha of Parking Place Pulchritude:












You may not be able to tell how much he's added from the first picture to the second and third, but believe me, it's quite a bit. Oh, that persnickety Percy, always perfecting...

Catching Up

I had surgery about two weeks ago -- well, an "outpatient procedure," which sounds much less impressive but still hurts, dammit. I guess things are okay; healing, anyway, which is something. I got home afterwards, in pain and sleepy yet restless, just generally miserable, really, and this is the day that my landlord decides to have our dangerous could-explode-any-minute oven replaced. And it took for-fricking-EVER. Not very restful. My mother, who went with me for the surgery -- excuse me, procedure -- fielded most of it and stayed with me until my hubby got home from work. (Thanks again, Mom!) It was a yucky day from start to finish. But after recently reading again about hospitals killing their patients, I feel lucky to be healing and reasonably sure no one left any foreign objects inside me.

We're not having a lot of luck with our house search. We have lots of doctors here, for some reason, some sort of Heal America program, I guess, and they don't seem to mind dropping a ridiculous amount of money on houses, thereby ruining the housing market for the rest of us. Please wish us luck, people! Cross your fingers, say a little prayer, think good thoughts, whatever you like, but get busy.

Poor Sass isn't feeling well; when I went home for lunch I found she had tossed her biscuits, and she's been acting oddly all day. I wish she could tell me what's going on; it's incredibly frustrating not knowing what's wrong. Yesterday I took her to the vet to have her nails clipped (she has black nails, so we're afraid we'll hurt her) and the lady who did them was really rough and the clippers were blunt and she cut two or three too close and my poor baby bled. She didn't even yelp or whimper, poor little thing, just endured it. I guess we might as well do her nails ourselves from now on; I don't think we'll do worse and we may do better since we actually care.

Anyway, more good thoughts and prayers for Sass, if you please. I hate it when she feels bad and looks at me with those big sad eyes and I can't do anything for her.

Who'd a Thunk?

Spoiler Alert: For those of you who don't want to know the Truth About Elmo, read no further!

I just found on another blog that Elmo is voiced -- or, rather, brought to life -- by a big black guy. I find that to be incredibly amusing. And he seems like a nice guy, which is good since Elmo is not only adorable but communicates with children regularly.

Go here to see.

The Gray Girls

I just realized that I haven't posted a picture of our girls here yet (at least I don't think so). So here they are:

Adorable, aren't they? Well, we think so. Sassy is to the left, Molly to the right.

Small Town Life

Here's an example of what I love about living in a small town:

Avast, ye scurvy dog!

• Does (do) your lady love(s) need a reminder of your constant, if unwashed, love?
• Does your parrot deserve an extravagant apology for your persistent insensitive allusions to her as "shoulder bling"?
• Do you need to disarm your equally toothless and limb-challenged adversary, thus granting yourself ample time to find the treasure conveniently marked with a big red X on the map you alone were lucky enough to find rolled up in a bottle that washed up on the beach where you were stranded when you double-crossed your boss?

*whew*

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you've struck gold, matey! Unhand that telescope and shiver your timbers on over to:

Jolly Roger's Flowers ~N~ More
Your One-Stop Shop for Booty and Plunder
(Minus the Messy Inconvenience of Maiming and Killing)

We Welcome Spanish Doubloons!
We also accept Visa, MasterCard, and most traveler's checks.

Groovy Tunes

Lately I’ve been on a quest to gather songs that trigger fond childhood memories. Right now I'm working on the 70s. I thought I’d end up with maybe around a hundred songs, but as it turned out, it was closer to four hundred! (So sue me for having a happy childhood.)

I really miss songs that tell stories. When I was little, I would act them out with my sisters and cousins and that was some kind of fun. It really was. But there’s no acting out a song that consists of a chorus repeated ten times. So, on my list of favorite songs are such classics as Vicki Lawrence’s “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia” and Bobbie Gentry’s “Ode to Billie Joe.”

I can’t begin to tell you how much I’m enjoying listening to these songs again! I’m planning to do the same thing with the 80s and 90s but not right away. It is quite an undertaking. Thank goodness for samples at Amazon and elsewhere that I can check to make sure I’m finding the songs I think I remember.

(And yes, I realize I’m completely aging myself with this post, but if you’re polite, you won’t mention it.)

Take Me Home, Country Roads

My husband and I are currently looking for a house. Or land on which to build a house. In a small town like ours, it's not always easy to find what you're looking for. Or even anything for sale, sometimes. Well, that's not strictly true; there is always something for sale. Unfortunately, it's often bounded by neighbors with rusted-out former vehicles up on blocks, several small mysterious outbuildings crowding the overgrown front yard, vicious starving animals that are probably small dogs but could just as easily be large voluble rats, and every Christmas decoration known to man stuffed into crevices not already occupied by said vehicles, buildings, or animals. And who knows what's going on in the back?

No thanks.

There have been a few possibilities. And I have to say everyone we've spoken to has been extraordinarily nice. I do realize they are trying to make a sale, so they're probably not going to show their backsides, but still. Friendly. I can't tell you how many times we've heard, "Now, I'm own be honest witcha..."

This is usually a ginormous red flag to me, signalling complete dishonesty of the barefaced variety, but who knows? Maybe they are being honest. Word gets around in a small town in about two shakes of a lamb's tail (one if it's particularly scandalous). Quick, is what I'm saying. It's not good for business if it gets around that you're a little shady in your dealings. Not honest business, anyway.

I keep hoping for the best in people and trying to see it even if my eyes are almost closed from squinting so hard. Sometimes I choose to believe they're being honest, when we have no way of knowing for sure. I opt for the positive. My husband is the opposite; he believes all people are selfish and only out for themselves. Sadly, he is often proved right. I hate that.

Anyway, wish us luck as we continue our quest. We need it!

Grudge Match

Have you ever played an online game that seemed to get more difficult as you played, never allowing you to win? That's counterintuitive, to me; it seems like a game should take pity on you as you stack up the losses, and get easier little by little until eventually you win, like those computer-administered standardized test problems. I mean, they want you to enjoy the game so you'll buy it, right? Or at least keep coming back for more and boosting their site stats?

Of course, this presupposes that it's not completely random. But sometimes it seems as if the game senses your desperation or, in my case, grim determination to win, and keeps almost being defeated. I don't mind a challenge; I enjoy it, relish it even. But I don't like being taunted. Especially by a machine. That's just not right.

Stink-nicity

Those of you who work with the public know the trials and travails that go with the territory. But, for those of you who don’t enjoy daily contact with the rude and the malodorous, I'd like to share with you a recent encounter.

This one lady (I use the term loosely) (no pun intended!) comes in regularly to chat on Yahoo IM. Her visits also seem to regularly entail dating services. Okay, whatever. No big deal, not my business. BUT. Now we only have one computer that has a working Yahoo IM application. We’ve reported this repeatedly, but our computer people aren’t interested in getting this fixed. They continually inform us that the library is not at the top of their priority list. (Which leads to the obvious question of why we have to be open all day Saturday and some of Sunday when the vital offices that get all their computers worked on first -- because otherwise work isn't getting done -- are closed???)

But I digress. To get back to the story, this lady, okay, woman, would come in and loudly complain if anyone was on that computer for TOO LONG or God forbid, WASN’T USING YAHOO IM. So I had to institute a sign-in sheet for that computer with a one-hour time limit. Not an unreasonable request, and I didn’t mind doing it, but of course she still complained.

Then another patron told me about a url that allows you to use instant messenger programs, a sort of back door to them. (It’s www.ebuddy.com, if you’re interested.) So I posted a sign with that url and took down the sign-in sheet for the one computer, as it wasn’t really effective anyway.

So what did our friend do? I'm sure you guessed it: she complained. She claimed the url doesn’t work, even though it worked for me and it has worked for countless others. Fine, whatever, but I’m not making people get off that computer just because she likes the application better. I’m sorry that we only have it on one machine, and I’ve asked them repeatedly to fix this or give me authorization to, but no go. I explained this and she finally sort of let it go. For now anyway.

Then yesterday she came in to use a computer. There are eleven computers in my area (Reference) and only two people were in here using computers. That left nine other computers free. NINE. So which one did she choose? The one that some lame-o patron decided to reconfigure by running the mouse with the cord coming from under the front of the desk/table instead of dropping behind like it’s supposed to! So she, of course, complained and asked me to fix it. I said I would get someone to come fix it, because I didn’t want to crawl around in a skirt, and I mentioned that there were several other available computers. She said she’d fix this one and proceeded to try, struggling with her ridiculously long fake fingernails, unplugging something else instead, and then finally unplugging the mouse, dropping the cord behind the desk, and plugging it back in.

While I was standing next to her to make sure everything got plugged in correctly (she was busily unplugging and replugging by the time I got over there), a wave of pure bodily funk poured off her and streamed right up my defenseless nostrils. UGH. It was not only body odor, which anyone working with the public or children of a certain age is familiar with. In addition to that lovely aroma was added the delicate, flowery perfume of an overweight woman who needs (a) a good bath with stout soap, a lathery washcloth, and lots o’ scrubbin’, (b) superstrength FDS, (c) DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE, or possibly (d) all of the above. For those of you unfamiliar with this particular stench, I’m here to tell you it is NOT just "not-so-fresh." I work with soldiers, people, and they do not smell this bad! I had to fake a reason to return to my desk to avoid gagging or turning blue from holding my breath.

Then of course the mouse wouldn’t work. I told her the computer just needed rebooting so it could recognize the mouse, and braced myself to walk back over there. Because the reboot took longer than oh my God two seconds, what did she do? She MOVED TO ANOTHER COMPUTER.

Look, lady, if I can stand here breathing your stinkation for as long as it takes a computer to reboot, that I have to reboot because you INSISTED on using it, you can damn well sit there and wait!!

But no. She moved on. Which at least had the blessed effect of removing the cloud of stink from my immediate breathing area, allowing me to get the computer logged in again and retreat to my desk for some relatively pure oxygen before passing out. Ahh, sweet breathable air! I just sat and breathed for a few moments and made a mental note to tell my husband that if he ever smells the slightest bit of funk emanating from me to not let me leave the house even if it takes a full nelson to stop me. She is fortunate, constant reader, that dating services do not include scratch-n-sniff capabilities or smell-o-rama.

And lest you think I am being too hard on her, let me remind you that she is consistently troublesome and often downright rude. I didn't even mention the long loud conversations on her cell phone.

I try to be understanding and accommodating, as that is not only part of my job but also my nature, and I can take a lot, but the odor is what finally got me. I've discovered my Waterloo. A sensitive olfactory nerve is not your friend if you work with the public.

Love / Hate

Here's something I don't like about the blog world -- I find people who seem really great, funny, interesting, people I'd like to know, then, of course, find out they live a thousand miles away. At least. And since I'm more of a lurker than a commenter, they'll never get to know me at all, even virtually. I find that sad, for some reason. Like a missed opportunity.

I do realize that even though they seem great and I feel like we would be immediate friends, like first-graders bonding the first day of school because they have the same backpack, instantly recognizing soulmate potential by their shared taste in what they've chosen to show the world as they walk away, that might not actually be the case. They might not be so great, or they might think I'm not so great. I like to think I generally have a pretty firm grasp of reality.

Of course, the thing I really like about the blog world is that I get to "meet" these interesting people. And I don't even have to cook dinner for them or get dressed to go out with them or clean up after they come to visit. (Or, more likely, before they come to visit.) What could be easier than that?

And it's lovely to be able to read things by people who make me laugh, who make me feel like I'm not the only person in the world who thinks this way, or the only one who has gone through that, people with whom I can identify. Especially since they're people I otherwise wouldn't have known at all.

So, turns out I love the blogging world more than I hate it. Which is good, since that's where I'm writing about it.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Library World

I was just doing my little library job, which at that moment entailed cutting out a picture of an album cover I printed from Amazon because we no longer have the one that came with the CD, when it occurred to me that I know people who would think (or possibly say), "If that was my job, I'd have to kill myself." I realized that I once would have thought that, but not anymore. I was actually kind of enjoying myself.

Does this mean I've grown up? Given up? Have I lowered my expectations too much or have they just become realistic? Should I go ahead and kill myself now or wait to see what happens next? Maybe I'll staple some papers together! Or print out a sign that no one will read! Or receive a work-related mass email that means nothing to me!

That's what I live for: those goose-bump moments that take you by surprise.

Links of Interest

I just realized how much I like reading people's blogs and finding cool things to check out from them. So here's my contribution.

If you like (or think you might) Justin Timberlake, you can check out his latest single at his website. Sweet to be able to listen to the whole song from there! And it's pretty good. A little repetitious for me, and it doesn't really sound like him, which I guess is neither here nor there. Nor anywhere, really.

You can also check out Nelly Furtado's latest at her site. I'm not so crazy about that one.

If you like Mah Jong, here is a fun version.

This site has cartoons based on spam subject lines. Some of them are downright hilarious. Be sure to check out HELLO ME NOT DEAD.

A lot of Kirsten Ulve's work reminds me of animation and art when I was a kid. Very groovy.

Fun t-shirts here and here.

Okay, that's all for now. Enjoy!

Should I?

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Chowgirl

You Are a Chow Puppy

Don't fence me in! You're an independent spirit that won't be tied down.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?