What a World

I've been gone a while and Blogger went and changed on me!  I hope I can figure this out.

So last week was pretty awful.  I don't understand what people are thinking these days.  I made the comment a couple of months ago that I don't really like people and my mom was surprised.  But all of the senseless violence...  I worry about it and occasionally rant about it.

And then sometimes I come across something that makes me happy to be here.  Here's a pretty amazing thing - an astronaut wringing out a wet washcloth in space - amazing because, you know, he's IN SPACE, and then that becomes downright astounding when you realize that you can sit at home and WATCH THE SPACEMAN.  FROM YOUR HOME.
 

You Know You're Out of Shape When...

your muscles are sore the day following a rousing game of... bowling.

To be fair, it was a game and a half.  I mean, I'm not such a wimp that one game will take me down!

Sigh.

Downton Awesome

I'm just now joining the Downton Abbey craze, but I am loving it.  Some of the story lines seem a little unlikely to me, but it's fun to watch.  I love period pieces, and Dame Maggie Smith is so freakin' good.

Faves!

New favorite song:



I think the video is goofy, but the song itself is perfect.


New favorite TV show (American): Modern Family











I finally got on the bandwagon, after much resistance, and though the show is inconsistent, the characters are so likeable that I had to get on board.


New favorite TV show (British):











I love Sherlock (the real Sherlock, of course), I often love British TV, and I am a fan of Martin Freeman. Now I am also a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch, who usually makes an excellent Sherlock and has one of the best names I've ever heard. (And his voice, sigh. Alan Rickman without the mush.) I have a few quibbles with some things they've done, but overall, a really well-done and absorbing show.

A World of YES

Christmas in ... January!

It's been a while!

Today I decided to organize my office so I pulled out all of these bags I had under my desk. I have a biggish, U-shaped desk, and under one corner I had been putting tote bags that I got at conferences and bags I used to bring things to work, like Target bags or the nice little paper ones with handles that some retailers use. I thought, "I might need these, you never know!" Well, the corner had become stuffed full. So today I thought, "Hello, nice little mouse neighborhood! Here come the bulldozers!"¹ and started cleaning them out.

I found a big tote bag I had gotten at a conference in *cough ahem* June. And it was full. of. stuff. This was like Christmas all over again, only with geeky stuff. So fun! I now am the proud owner of several new pens, highlighters, sticky note pads, bookmarks, flashlights, keychains, and what-have-you. Have I ever mentioned my fondness for free stuff? It may be a keychain that I wouldn't pay for in a million years, but y'all, it was free. You don't pass up free sh*t.

So here's a shout-out to all you procrastinators out there! It's totally worth the wait! If you go to any kind of a work-related conference, I recommend leaving all of the little free stuff sitting around for at least a month or two (I realize my more-than-6-month hiatus is pretty hardcore), you will appreciate it so much more.

¹ No mice were harmed during the course of this project. There were no mice.

You Can't Go Home Again

So I got a DVD of the Dick Van Dyke show, much-beloved in my memory. Frankly, I'm disappointed. It's supposed to be a "best of" set, and it could be that the ones whoever packaged the DVD chose are just not the ones I would have chosen (where is the one with Dick Van Dyke -- OMG, I was going to use his initials to shorten this typing business, and it's DVD, how confusing would that be? -- on the radio all night as part of some competition or fund-raiser or something??) or it could just be remembering with rose-colored glasses. But... it's not as funny as I remember. And it's kind of disparaging toward women. Shocker for early 1960's, I know, but I guess when I was watching the show before, I wasn't such a raging feminist. (That's a bit of a joke for those who don't really know me; I only rage about traffic.)

If they come out with another set and it includes the one I mentioned above, I'll buy that set and see if it's as funny as I remember.

I still love Dick Van Dyke.

What, me worry?

Have you ever sold your house? Oh my heck, what a big ordeal. Just looking at what we need to do to get ours ready to show is exhausting. Of course, the idea of dusting is exhausting to me most days, so maybe it's just me.

Traffic is about to give me a stroke. (Most of the reason we want to move.) Have people always been such bad drivers? I mean, not just bad, but stupid bad. And rude bad. There are simply too many people these days. I need to figure out how to get paid for being a hermit. Maybe an ad in the paper: "Will pray on a hill for you every day, salary negotiable. What price would you put on your eternal soul?"

Which leads me to... work. Stressful, even more so than usual. Budget crisis, retiring personnel not getting replaced... There's doing more with less and then there's... this. "Doing very little because we only have three people" isn't nearly as catchy.

Pile o' 'Poo

The other day I spent a good hour searching online for a good shampoo. I'm not kidding.

When did shampoo-buying get so complicated? Why doesn't it just clean your hair anymore?! I don't want a shampoo that gives me volume or smoothes my frizzies or moisturizes anything at all. I JUST WANT CLEAN HAIR.

If I want anything else, I'll buy some damn conditioner.

I long for how simple shampoos were when I was growing up, back in the long-long ago. Then we just worried about how good it smelled. And shine, yes, everyone wanted shiny hair, which, really, just seems to go along with... CLEAN hair. Hmph.

Bring back my Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific! My Yucca Dew! My Body on Tap! (Okay, that implies that it gave your hair body, but it gave it body by cleaning it. See? Simple.)

One of those big companies needs to get on this. I can't be the only person who thinks this. Can I? CAN I??!!

Seriously Funny

This blog is always funny, but this post is extra-hilarious. Especially if you have dogs.

Project Ripoff

Mondo was ROBBED!

His designs aren't necessarily what I would wear, but they are good. He is so talented. I thought Gretchen's designs were snoozers, and ugly snoozers at that. What was with all the granny panties?!

I think Heidi needs to get rid of Michael Kors and Nina Garcia, they are too out of touch. And Nina Garcia always sits there looking so superior, and then she chooses what? I thought Gretchen's designs were the weakest of the three.

I taped the show (yes, I still have to rely on my dinosaur VCR) and missed the actual discussion and choice by the judges (it couldn't have been timed worse, right when Heidi they were going to "have a little chat", the recording stopped. ARRGGHH.). So when I saw the next day that they chose GRETCHEN, I couldn't believe it.

I hope Mondo is successful anyway. Team MONDO!!

Project SELF-ESTEEM!!!

Lunatics are definitely running the asylum. I think throughout the fashion world. Or maybe I mean "fashion." I can't understand why high fashion=ugly these days.

Anyway. I am sick of Heidi being so shocked at contestants "throwing [each other] under the bus." It's a COMPETITION, not a church social. And you force them to tell you who they thought was the weakest link, or why this or that happened, with your steely German stare, so what you're saying is that if they honestly think one of the other contestants is weak, they should lie? I thought this was a competition based on design skills, not some duel of honor. (Can it be called a duel when several people are involved? So a... clash of honor?) I agree that no one likes people who always seem to be pointing fingers and never taking responsibility, but you are making them tell you these things. So if it bothers you, STOP DOING IT. You have the power, Heidi. You are the bus.

Like the episode a couple of weeks ago, the team competition, when the whole team said Michael C. was the weakest link and the judges were all shocked and appalled (because they're all sweetness and light, right), wringing their hands and wailing, "Oh poor, poor Michael C. Will no one defend him?", maybe they should have asked themselves if there was a reason that every single person said he was the weakest link. Everyone who has worked with him has said that throughout this competition! (Well, until Mondo last week.)

I think they gave the bridesmaid's dress win to Michael C. just to spite the other contestants, which -- um, again, isn't this a competition? About design? Did I miss when it changed to a self-esteem support group? Because his dress was hideous and the judges were completely wrong. Mondo should have won, no question. And the judges totally bombed Michael D.'s because his model was plus-sized, though of course they would never admit that. He got no points for working with someone plus-sized, and it is much harder to make someone big look good than it is to make someone thin look good. Take it from someone who is not thin anymore. It's damned hard.

Last week, Andy was clearly the winner and they gave it to April. April's looked like lingerie. So, yeah, resort wear in a sense. And I kept wanting to pull the damn straps up that drooped down over the model's arms (April said she wanted her to look bound or trapped or in bondage or drunk or something). But Kristen Bell said she would wear it on the red carpet. Apparently she fell down before they started filming this episode and was concussed the entire time. What a great actress! You couldn't even tell except for the nonsense she was spouting. Unless she's referring to some X-rated red carpet event that I don't know about, like the porn Oscars. Hey, I guess they do have something like that, it was in Boogie Nights (my complete reference for all things porn).

The most interesting guest judges -- and the only logical guest judges to have -- are people who are actual designers. Let's see, usual judges... Heidi, supermodel with questionable taste; Michael Kors, designer with questionable taste; and Nina Garcia, ...something... with questionable taste. And no one to shake up all of their preconceived notions except actresses? With questionable taste. What qualifications do they have? That they wear clothes? That they wear expensive clothes? That they wear expensive clothes that they pay someone to choose for them?

Really, I have to ask. If they have all that money, designers throwing dresses at them for big events, and the best figures money can buy, WHY DO THEY STILL LOOK SO DARN TRASHY?!

Okay, sorry to get all-capsy on you.

To sum up, I am not happy with Project Runway this season. I think the judges are way off. Oh! I just had a brainwave. It's Heidi's bangs! She can't see the designs! And then the others go along with her because it's her show and she's got that whole steely German stare thing, even more scary through a forest of bangs. Hmm.

I'm glad they finally took Gretchen down a couple of notches. But sending Casanova home? I loved Casanova! His design wasn't great, admittedly, but I think Gretchen's was worse. It actually made her model look fat and frumpy. Who wants to look fat and frumpy, especially at a resort? And especially when you're 5'11" and weigh 110 lbs, you've forgotten what teeth are for, and you survive on cigarettes, water, and the glowing knowledge that you make everyone else look like elephants in their resort wear.

New School Year

Bunny moves to a new class on Monday. I think it will be a good change for him; let's hope I'm right!

And I hope he likes his teacher. He's in the same school, and is already at least a little familiar with his soon-to-be teacher, so I'm hoping it's a smooth transition for him. Wish us luck!

Sad News

It's been a really stressful time lately. Not least because Molly -- sweet, lovable Molly -- passed away unexpectedly. It happened two weeks ago tomorrow; that's when she got sick. She actually passed away two weeks ago Thursday.

We still can't get used it; we still miss her constantly. Sassy and Penny miss her too. Everybody loved Molly. I wish I could write a fitting tribute, but I start crying every time I think of her and can't put a good sentence together. We let her down horribly and feel terrible about it. "If only" is a sad and awful phrase.

We love you, Molly-girl!

Float Like a Butterfly, Jump Like a Rabbit

It's been a while! Mostly I wanted to post that Bunny can now jump. JUMP. Both feet clearly off the floor at the same time.

For a while, his jumps were mostly one foot off the floor, other foot on tiptoe. Almost a full jump, but not quite, though occasionally the toes of the grounded foot would leave the ground momentarily. Now, though. Honest-to-God jumping. We're so proud. I have no real idea how long he's been able to do this; we just saw him do it about a week ago. He may have been jumping like a... well, a bunny, at school for weeks now for all we know. But after we saw it and were all excited, he jumped all over the house.

What else? He's still hilarious and really only getting funnier. He loooves chips and salsa. He sits in his booster seat or high chair, pulls up a little bowl of salsa, reaches for the chips, and he's happy as a little clam.

Lately he's taken to lying on our big bed and dangling Woody over the side and saying, "Oh no, Woody, don't fall, oh no, oh nooo!" and dropping him, then getting Buzz to go down and save him. It's so funny. I tried to get it on tape but of course he was facing the door, so saw me immediately and said, "Turn it around!" so he could see himself on the screen while I was taping. My little narcissist.

Little Update

I was emailing with a friend about Bunny and thought it would be a good idea to put it here as a little update.

Bunny is running around and talking and saying the funniest things and asking hard questions like, "Why is that an alligator?" Um... because it is?

He doesn't really get Why so much when you ask him; he tends to answer questions like, "Why did you throw down your car?" with "Because I threw it down."

He has also discovered conjunctions so he says long sentences like, "I feel sad but Daddy got me some hot chocolate but I'm sitting at my table." He doesn't always quite get them right but that's what makes it so funny.

I love this age!

Project Snoozeway

*Here be spoilers*

Well, as a woman, I liked that the top three for Bryant Park were women, and I thought they were all pretty good, as these designers go. However, it was boring, and I assumed Irina was going to win since about week 3. So no surprises.

The most entertaining thing, in a disturbing way, was Tim getting so upset when the designers weren't ready at showtime. I wonder if he gets like that every time and they've just never shown us before, or if that was unusual. He seems so unflappable.

Nice!

http://www.cleaningforareason.org/

This is a nonprofit group that connects women suffering with cancer with free housecleaning services. As it says on their site, one less thing to worry about.

What a nice idea.

Also, Xerox is still offering free thank-you cards to the troops. Go say thanks!

http://www.letssaythanks.com

Dun-Dun-DUHN

I can't believe I've never seen this before!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw


(And yes, it's actually a Prairie Dog.)

Guess

Who carved which pumpkin???