Thursday, December 07, 2006

Underpants Gnomes Strike Again!

Apparently it’s all the rage these days in Hollywood for young starlets, pop tarts, and heiress wastes of space to go about all panty-less. Maybe it’s the warm weather in California: naughty bits need a little fresh air now and then. No?

It’s not a new idea; we all know Marilyn Monroe didn't wear underwear. Yet La Marilyn didn’t stagger around drunk in micro-minis, struggling to get in and out of limos and yachts and whatnot, either oblivious to flashing everyone or pretending to be oblivious while secretly hoping everyone noticed. I’m sure that many people back in the day didn’t consider Marilyn to be the epitome of class, but look, Ma -- by comparison she seems like such a lady, doesn’t she?

I don’t really see what the appeal is for these young women. Do they think it makes them seem more daring? Devil-may-care? Saucy? Sexy? I think it just seems desperate. Desperate to be considered sexy, desperate to be in the limelight, desperate to have their pictures splashed all over the world, even for this. Do they not care about class, dignity, respect? Okay, okay, that's going too far, I guess, expecting too much.

But does Britney really have to do this to feel sexy? Maybe after having two babies and being married to the bowl of Jello -- tough Jello, though, yo, like green, maybe -- she does. But she was famous for being sexy before all that, more even than for being a singer. She could easily have gotten that back and it looked like she was on her way until she hooked up with the heiress oxygen-suck and broke her own previous record for the downhill run. Not that she’s ever been anything other than trash. We all know money can’t buy love; it doesn’t seem to be able to put a dent in poor taste or a complete lack of class, either.

Though I’m the first to admit that it is indeed bold to go panty-less, staggering around drunkenly flashing your lady parts at whoever might be looking your way is a little too close to the world’s oldest profession for me. And we all know how much respect they get.

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