Monday, September 13, 2010

Project SELF-ESTEEM!!!

Lunatics are definitely running the asylum. I think throughout the fashion world. Or maybe I mean "fashion." I can't understand why high fashion=ugly these days.

Anyway. I am sick of Heidi being so shocked at contestants "throwing [each other] under the bus." It's a COMPETITION, not a church social. And you force them to tell you who they thought was the weakest link, or why this or that happened, with your steely German stare, so what you're saying is that if they honestly think one of the other contestants is weak, they should lie? I thought this was a competition based on design skills, not some duel of honor. (Can it be called a duel when several people are involved? So a... clash of honor?) I agree that no one likes people who always seem to be pointing fingers and never taking responsibility, but you are making them tell you these things. So if it bothers you, STOP DOING IT. You have the power, Heidi. You are the bus.

Like the episode a couple of weeks ago, the team competition, when the whole team said Michael C. was the weakest link and the judges were all shocked and appalled (because they're all sweetness and light, right), wringing their hands and wailing, "Oh poor, poor Michael C. Will no one defend him?", maybe they should have asked themselves if there was a reason that every single person said he was the weakest link. Everyone who has worked with him has said that throughout this competition! (Well, until Mondo last week.)

I think they gave the bridesmaid's dress win to Michael C. just to spite the other contestants, which -- um, again, isn't this a competition? About design? Did I miss when it changed to a self-esteem support group? Because his dress was hideous and the judges were completely wrong. Mondo should have won, no question. And the judges totally bombed Michael D.'s because his model was plus-sized, though of course they would never admit that. He got no points for working with someone plus-sized, and it is much harder to make someone big look good than it is to make someone thin look good. Take it from someone who is not thin anymore. It's damned hard.

Last week, Andy was clearly the winner and they gave it to April. April's looked like lingerie. So, yeah, resort wear in a sense. And I kept wanting to pull the damn straps up that drooped down over the model's arms (April said she wanted her to look bound or trapped or in bondage or drunk or something). But Kristen Bell said she would wear it on the red carpet. Apparently she fell down before they started filming this episode and was concussed the entire time. What a great actress! You couldn't even tell except for the nonsense she was spouting. Unless she's referring to some X-rated red carpet event that I don't know about, like the porn Oscars. Hey, I guess they do have something like that, it was in Boogie Nights (my complete reference for all things porn).

The most interesting guest judges -- and the only logical guest judges to have -- are people who are actual designers. Let's see, usual judges... Heidi, supermodel with questionable taste; Michael Kors, designer with questionable taste; and Nina Garcia, ...something... with questionable taste. And no one to shake up all of their preconceived notions except actresses? With questionable taste. What qualifications do they have? That they wear clothes? That they wear expensive clothes? That they wear expensive clothes that they pay someone to choose for them?

Really, I have to ask. If they have all that money, designers throwing dresses at them for big events, and the best figures money can buy, WHY DO THEY STILL LOOK SO DARN TRASHY?!

Okay, sorry to get all-capsy on you.

To sum up, I am not happy with Project Runway this season. I think the judges are way off. Oh! I just had a brainwave. It's Heidi's bangs! She can't see the designs! And then the others go along with her because it's her show and she's got that whole steely German stare thing, even more scary through a forest of bangs. Hmm.

I'm glad they finally took Gretchen down a couple of notches. But sending Casanova home? I loved Casanova! His design wasn't great, admittedly, but I think Gretchen's was worse. It actually made her model look fat and frumpy. Who wants to look fat and frumpy, especially at a resort? And especially when you're 5'11" and weigh 110 lbs, you've forgotten what teeth are for, and you survive on cigarettes, water, and the glowing knowledge that you make everyone else look like elephants in their resort wear.

1 comment:

Calandreya said...

I agree with you about this season but I've been blaming myself. For the last few years, it seemed like retro 60s and 70s clothes were what was hot (again), which was comfortable for me because I grew up in the 70s. So, I've been saying, to myself for all these weeks, it must be that they've moved on from the 70s and are doing 80s or 90s now, or something else, even though the stars I see on shows are doing 40s stuff again.

I'm really relieved, and thank you for posting this, that it isn't just me who is having serious issues with what the judges think is fashionable.