Things I've Learned

Things I've Learned Since Becoming a Mother:

1. Baby teeth are sharp!
2. Baby food is like glue.
3. Baby food is also invisible until you're ready to go somewhere, then hey presto! There it is in the eyebrows, behind the left ear, in the wrist crease...
4. Baby drool is a force of nature; think Niagra Falls, only stickier.
5. Babies are amazingly strong, especially when pitted against my hair.
6. Once baby food is started, poop diapers achieve a level of stinkatiousness that can make a grown man shy like a frightened horse.
7. I'm equally dreading (see "stinkatiousness" above) and anxiously awaiting the start of "grown-up" food.
8. The weight of responsibility for another human being can be overwhelming, even paralyzing.
9. Nothing prepared me for this, or could have.
10. There is absolutely nothing better than having this new little person in my life.