Thursday, April 24, 2008

America's Next Top...

...Witch, apparently. Tyra is not playing so nice this cycle (or they've decided not to edit it out). Last week she said that she was "trying to say something nice" about Stacy Ann and this week she couldn't be bothered to pronounce Katarzyna's name correctly. Didn't even try! So, so rude.

* Spoiler Alert *

Gonna talk about the show. First of all, WHY do they try to make these girls speak a foreign language? They have so little prep time. I think it's unfair and frankly stupid. Like that's real life. There's no way a company is going to have its product's success or failure riding on some ditzy model's ability to speak their language without even any preparation. Ridiculous and not even entertaining.

And the decision of who was going home wasn't even climactic. Lauren not only did a horrible, horrible job of the commercial, but she gave up. She looked like she was about to cry through most of it, which was painful to watch and not at all entertaining or amusing. I just felt sorry for her. There was really no choice of who should leave, given her performance.

I'm still amazed that Fatima is still there after the whole "travel papers" imbroglio. Not because she "forgot" to get her papers -- that whole situation was obviously staged by the producers to create some tension and drama (otherwise sorely lacking this cycle) (oh, and it didn't work) -- but because she missed the photo shoot. Of course, if the producers set the appointment for her at the same time as the photo shoot, then there's really no way -- ethically, at least -- they could have kicked her off for it. LAME, the whole situation.

Dominique is ridiculous, she looks like an old drag queen. Fatima usually looks ashy and weird, though occasionally she surprises me. Whitney is never going to win because they will never let a plus-sized girl win. They've been going out of their way lately to point out how phoney she is (really, Tyra?), obviously paving the way to booting her off. Anya looks like an albino Celine Dion so I'm stunned she's made it this far (and they keep saying how much she "looks like a model" -- they know better than I do, of course, but... really? I didn't know models were so homely. Maybe they're referring to the visible ribs. Even from the back. Urk.). I think Katarzyna should win but they keep going on about how she has no personality (apparently they have nothing else to complain about, which means SHE SHOULD WIN). I think they are the final two, though I'm sure it's foreordained based on some complicated formula of Political Correctness, Appearance Of.

The show is really transparently formulaic this cycle. The Plus-Sized Girl, the Old Girl, the Tomboy, the Exotic Girl, the Stupid Girl, the Foreign Girl, the Mean Girl, the Crazy Girl. Some of them overlap, and some are interchangeable, but all the slots are filled.

And Tyra, who I used to like, has really gotten on my nerves this cycle. She has never seemed so fake or arrogant or downright b*tchy as this cycle. Maybe she should leave the show.

Sigh. I just like the photography, dammit.

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